Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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