As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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