so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
