I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
