Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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