ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
