Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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