I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize