My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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