Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
