you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This is the high leading the old right now
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
