just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
