im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
