yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
