Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize