i don't plan on having that self control this summer
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
