After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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