i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
