Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
