Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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