I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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