Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
