using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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