He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
