the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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