He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
