I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
