i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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