watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
