May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
