So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
