pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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