Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
