i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
