Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
