he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
