Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
