I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
