Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
