This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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