Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
