Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
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