Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
