what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
