Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
