so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
They have beer where we have blood.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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