Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
