i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
