He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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