absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
