We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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