Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
