Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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