So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
