wat bout pragnant strippers??
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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