Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
