i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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