We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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