wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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