What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
