I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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